all dogs go to heaven

Last week we lost part of 

our family.

My amazing dog Dixie

passed away.

It was devastating.

She was getting old but

I didn't expect this to

happen for at least another

couple of years :(

This post may sound silly to 

some (which if that is the case I would

stop reading), but if you've had a dog 

like her then you can understand.

This is Jess, Dixie & I at the 

Alpine Days pet show in 2001 :)

Dixie was really special

to me. To our family.

We got her when I was in

5th grade. I still remember it.

We were in Richfield at my 

Grandparents. She was a surprise.

My sisters and I sat on their

lawn in a triangle and she

ran from girl to girl for like

an hour. We were all so happy.

I grew up with her and

for as long as I can remember

she was always my little shadow.

She was part of our family.

I'll never forget, when she was

still a puppy we were playing in

the backyard. Part of our

fence had blown down from one 

of those crazy Utah storms.

Something caught her attention

and she bolted out of the backyard.

I ran after her but I wasn't fast

enough. I ran up and down our

street calling out her name as loud

as I could. I was so scared. 

Then just as this huge 10 passenger

van drives by I see her bolt in

front of it, towards me. 

The van hits Dixie. I screamed

louder than I've ever screamed. I

ran out to her. She was unconscious.

I scooped her up into my arms and

walked over to the grass by the

sidewalk. The girl driving the van

came over and tried to apologize

but I couldn't even speak. I was

crying so hard, but I was praying

even harder. I held Dixie in 

my arms and just kept praying. 

She was still alive, and I had hope.

I took her home and just held

her in my arms ALL day. When she

finally opened her eyes I made 

sure they never closed. One of her

eyes were red and bloodshot. She must

have been so exhausted but I wouldn't

let her go to sleep because I was

scared that she wouldn't open 

her eyes again. I took really good

care of her while she was healing.

A few days before all of this

happened I found a few legitimate

4 leaf clovers, no joke. I had

them in a ziplock bag and I left

them on top of Dixie's kennel. 

Just for some extra luck. 

& lucky us she was okay :)

Heavenly Father let me have

12 more years with my Dixie girl.

Growing up with Dixie was so fun.

She came hiking with us. She 

slept on the tramp with us. She

followed behind the horses on horse

rides. She came camping with us. 

She made us feel safe.

Whenever I was sad she would

lay in my lap until I was cheered up.

She had a lover dog next door

which resulted in lots of 

adorable puppies :)

 

She was the greatest.

Her favorite things were tug o war,

chasing motorcycles, string cheese,

going on walks, the neighbor dog,

chasing our horses, and more

than anything being with our

family. She was so funny, whenever

we would give her a yummy new bone she would

immediately burry it in the backyard

then go dig it back up later.

My dad texted me this picture

after we moved to CA because he

knew it would make me homesick :)

I love her so much.

So last week, on Tuesday night

I talked to my dad on the phone.

He told me that Dixie wasn't 

doing well. I just didn't know

how serious it actually was.. 

She had an appointment to see the

vet on Wednesday at 2(the next day).

I was debating whether I should 

fly back to Utah that night

to see her, or wait and see what 

the vet said before I made a 

decision. I decided to wait until

she saw the vet. I was worried 

about her all night. I was a mess.

Zack and I said lots of prayers

for her that night.

The next day I got a call from 

my dad. He was at the vet. He

didn't sound good. He told me that

she was dying and in a lot of pain.

He told me that she hadn't been

able to eat for a day or two,

and that now she was throwing up.

She had a high fever. Her kidneys

were failing. Her body was shutting

down, along with other complications.

My dad said that the vet suggested

putting her to sleep, to stop

the suffering but he wanted to get

my permission first. I was crying

so hard during this conversation

with my dad that I could barely 

speak or breath. My worst fear was

happening. I was devastated that I 

couldn't be there with her.

She was suffering and I was so far

away. I wish I could have been

there to hold her, take care of

her. I thought maybe they could wait

to put her to sleep. I could fly

down that day and we could bring

her back to the vet the next day. 

I wanted so badly to see her and be

there. To tell her goodbye in person.

To help keep her happy during the

last moments of her life. 

But there wasn't enough time.

Making her wait for me would have

been completely selfish. 

Making her suffer any longer. 

My dad said she probably wouldn't

have made it through the night.

When I realized I had to let her

go I became hysterical. 

I could hear the pain in my dad's

voice. It broke his heart listening

to me. He told me it would be harder

for me to be there, to go through

this with him. At first I didn't

care, I wanted to be there. But 

then I realized he was right. I 

wanted to remember Dixie the way I

always had. Happy and care free.

I asked my dad to call me back

when he was in the room with her

again so that I could say goodbye.

I sat on our bedroom floor sobbing.

Zack held me while we waited for 

the call. When he called me back

he put the phone on speaker,

so that she could hear me. I 

tried not to sound sad, I didn't

want her to know I was sad. I tried

to sound like myself. But I just

couldn't. It was the hardest thing 

in the world saying goodbye.

I told my dad to give her a big

hug for me. He did. 

 This is Dixie at the vet that last day.

My dad took really really

great care of Dixie for me,

which means so much to me.

My dad had it the hardest that day.

He was there with her through it

all. He did everything he could to

take care of her and save her, but 

it was her time to go. 

My dad buried her out by our horses,

because she loved to chase the horses.

I love my dad so much and I am

so grateful for everything he did,

and does for me. He is the greatest.

He is my hero. 

I know that I'll be 

with Dixie

again. 

I'm happy now that she isn't in

pain. I can just imagine her now

happier than ever, running around

chasing horses. Happy.

xo.